


Larry-oke 4: Halloween Hi-jinx

by SRassier



Series: Larry-oke [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crack, Halloween Costumes, Karaoke, Surprise Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: It's Halloween at Hannigan's Bar, you know what that means...Larry-oke and a costume contest because...why not?!
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Vanya Hargreeves/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Larry-oke [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717192
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	Larry-oke 4: Halloween Hi-jinx

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the list of songs used in this fic;
> 
> Monster Mash by Bobby Picket  
> Fast Car by Tracy Chapman  
> Zombie by The Cranberries  
> Highway to Hell by AC/DC  
> Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo  
> I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston  
> One for My Baby by Frank Sinatra  
> I’m Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO  
> Lose Yourself by Eminem  
> Suddenly Seymore by Rick Moranis and Ellen Green  
> Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell  
> Something Stupid by Frank and Nancy Sinatra  
> Aint No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell

Larry walked into Hannigan’s to a livelier crowd than normal. It was to be expected seeing as it was Halloween and most people liked to get good seats so they could not only enjoy the show, but the costumes as well. He hopped up on stage and started to set up his gear when he heard someone behind him clear his throat loudly.

He turned around and immediately regretted his choice of costume as he came face to face with the only teenager allowed at the bar after hours. “Larry.”  
“Hey Five…what’s up?”  
“I could ask you the same thing? Is this supposed to be a joke?” Five motioned to the Umbrella Academy uniform that Larry was currently sporting. It was a damn good replica too, Larry shelled out the money to make sure it looked right.  
“No?”  
“And what about that?” Five’s eyes darted to the mannequin sitting at Larry’s table.  
Larry tried not to panic. “Uh…I was going for flattering?” He held his breath as the small assassin squinted his eyes as he looked Larry up and down one more time before turning on his heels back to the Hargreeves table, allowing Larry to breathe again.

“Ladies and gentlemen…welcome to Hannigan’s bar and this is…”  
“LARRY-OKE!!”  
“That’s right, it’s your old pal Larry, ready to spin some tunes so you can spit some lyrics. Tonight, not only are we going to be singing and dancing, but don’t forget to vote for your favorite costumes!! There is a box at the bar and all night you can put in your choice for Best Group, best duo and best single costume. Now that we got the Halloween business out of the way, lets get singing!!!”

He grabbed the first slip and called Klaus to the stage. He was dressed in skinny white pants, a black tank top with a slim gold chain as a belt. On top of his head was a medium length blonde wig. Larry was fairly good at guessing costumes but beyond this one being simply “a girl” he was stumped. Klaus started the night off right with Monster Mash, easily Larry’s favorite Halloween song, cheesy but effective, just like Klaus.

Vanya was up next, and Larry had to rush to the side of the stage to help her up. The giant Penguin costume she was wearing made movement a bit difficult, but she was smiling the whole time and he had to admit…it was infectious. Her selection was Fast Car by Tracy Chapman and as she started singing, Larry couldn’t help but wonder if Vanya noticed that all of her song choices so far were either by or about lesbians.

When she finished, there was a noticeable roar from a table near the back filled with women and Larry watched as one of them whispered to the waitress. A few minutes later, Vanya was being handed a drink and the waitress was pointing out the table it came from. As some new guy dressed as Mr T belted out Highway to Hell by AC/DC, Larry watched as Vanya’s face went from confused to embarrassed as Allison whispered in her ear. She looked at the drink, then the table, then back at the drink before slowly getting up and heading back to supposedly thank the lady for the compliment. Larry couldn’t help but notice that she stayed there the rest of the night.

Emily Hopped up next to sing Zombie by the Cranberries dressed as a zombie. She joked with the crowd that it was a bit on the nose but was earning 10 bucks by doing it so it was worth it.

Larry looked around the crowd and couldn’t see Klaus anywhere but figured he’d read the next slip anyway. “Up next, Ben!! Get up here buddy!” Just then, he saw what he hadn’t noticed was a person sitting between Diego and Vanya move. It was a plain white bed sheet with holes cut out where eyes would be and it literally floated up to the stage, no feet to be seen. When he got up he took the mic from Larry and leaned in. “I’m a ghost…get it?” Larry just sat back and wondered at the advancement of Klaus’ powers while Ben got the crowd to their feet for Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo. He had quite the sense of humor that one.

Next, Allison slinked up on stage wearing what Larry figured must be the tightest catwoman costume he had ever seen, and that was saying something. She stormed up to the mic and proudly announced into it. “This is for Luther.” She threw a glance at the Luther fan girls wearing various umbrella academy uniforms and astronaut costumes and finished with… “MY DATE.” The girls were visibly shaken when she started singing I Wanna Dance with Somebody but by the end of the song…they got the message.

Larry attempted to break up the tension as well as save his own life as he announced that it was his turn for the evening. He could see Five still glaring at him out of the corner of his eye. He started the track and declared, “This song is dedicated to the most complicated guy I know, and his lovely gal.” The piano started and Larry did his best to do Old Blue Eyes proud as he sang One for my Baby. He internally stopped writing his will when Five got up with Delores (who’s head, Larry just noticed, was sitting on the table. The teen took the body out to the dance floor and swayed back and forth, nodding to Larry at the end of the song.

Peter, dressed in a great Igor costume sang ‘I’m Sexy and I Know It’ as his wife, in an equally impressive Dr Frankenstein getup laughed and sang along from the bar.

Larry called Diego to the stage and marveled at his outfit. When he handed him the mic, Larry told him, “Awesome Punisher costume dude!”  
Diego frowned. “I’m not wearing a costume.”  
Larry looked him up and down. He took in the black jeans, the skull tee shirt and the long coat. “Um…sure.”  
“I’m not!” Larry stared at him wide eyed. “Just start the damn song.” Larry hit play and Diego gave everyone an impressive Eminem impression as he sang Lose Yourself. After the song, he stormed over to Klaus and Larry could overhear him yelling something about “this damn tee shirt” and “your stupid freaking coat!” as Klaus doubled over with laughter.

Larry decided to save Klaus’ life by calling him and Anthony up next. It was as Anthony climbed the stairs wearing black leather pants, a black tee shirt with a red button up over it all topped off with a long black duster and bleach blonde hair that Larry finally realized who Klaus was. “Buffy and Spike right?”  
“Larry!” Klaus threw his hand over his heart. “You noticed!”  
Larry just shook his head and played Suddenly Seymore for the couple. The bar erupted in laughter and then applause when Klaus hammed it up when he said in his breathiest voice “He’d snap his fingers, me…I’d say sure!”

After that, another zombie, Nell this time, same Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell. She was having a riotous good time as the other people at her table kept yelling out to her, “Aint nobody watching you Rockwell!”

Larry wasn’t sure what to expect when he called up Allison and Luther but was pleasantly surprised when the Batman/Catwoman duo did a sweet rendition of Something Stupid by Frank and Nancy Sinatra. Larry didn’t really get their relationship at first. Allison once tried to explain that when they were kids, they were more of a ‘messed up boarding school’ than a family. She told him that she struggled with her feelings for a long time but finally decided that after all they had been through, they deserved to be happy, everyone else could screw themselves. Larry figured he would NOT mention that the song they were singing was a love song made famous by a man singing it with his daughter.

Last up was Five and Delores. Larry grabbed the stool kept up on stage for the couple and Five plunked Delores on it, placing her head on the floor in front of them. Larry’s face must have had a look of confusion at the site of them, for when Five, dressed in shorts, heels, a puffy shirt and powered wig saw him, he looked at Delores and back to Larry. “Louis the 16th and Marie Antoinette.”  
“Oh,” Larry nodded and looked at Delores. “Doesn’t that hurt?”  
Five positioned the microphone stand in front of his girlfriend and gave Larry a condescending look. “She’s a mannequin Larry, she can’t feel anything.”  
Larry’s mouth clamped up. He walked back to his own Delores, gave her a look and pressed play. 

The teen started, “Listen baby…aint no mountain high, aint no valley low…aint no river wide enough baby.” As it was every week for well over half a year, the next words came and went as Five patiently let his partner ‘sing’. And as it was every week, when the song ended…the crowd went nuts. And as it was every week, the boy took his paramour off the stage and trudged back to his table looking bored as hell. 

Larry brushed it off and took the paper that Stacy the bartender handed him. “Alright everyone, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…the results of the costume contest!” The crowd cheered and everyone awaited the winners of the highly coveted Hannigan’s gift certificates.

“First up, in the group category, going home with a $100 gift card…THE A TEAM!!!!” The group of guys got up to the sound of applause and came up to accept the prize, jokingly thrusting their clasped hands together like they just won a prize fight.

“Next up, the duo that you chose as the best of the best, taking home a $75 dollar gift card…Five and Delores!!!” Five’s head snapped up at the sound of cheering and Klaus smacking him on the back. He had a confused look on his face as he came up to accept his prize, but Larry could see it in his eyes that the kid was thinking about how drunk he could get on 75 bucks.

“And last but certainly not least. Getting a 50-dollar gift card for best single…” Larry looked at the paper and nearly changed the winner, but he knew that would be dishonest. The people had spoken. “Diego Hargreeves as The Punisher!” The crowd cheered and Klaus laughed. Diego sat in his chair and refused to get up. Larry could see him mouthing “I’m not wearing a costume!” to Luther as he crossed his arms and glared at the still giggling Klaus. Larry quickly made an announcement that Diego was too busy brooding and that he would accept the gift card on his behalf, earing a laugh from the crowd before everyone started trickling out into the parking lot.

He strolled over to the table and flung the card in front of Diego and shrugged. Turning to Five, he finally got the courage to ask something he’d been wondering for a few months now. “Hey Five?”  
“Yes Larry?”  
“I was wondering, why all the pop shit?”  
“I’m sorry?”  
“You always sing the most bubblegum pop music possible. Don’t get me wrong, you are really good, but you just don’t seem into it. Why not try something else?”  
Five picked up Delores (and her head) and looked at Larry. “I hate karaoke. Can’t stand the shit. But Delores loves it and she says I have the voice of an angel. So…I sing whatever she wants.” He shrugged his shoulders and walked past Larry, mumbling something about 'the things we do for love,' once again leaving the man speechless.

Larry’s phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and saw that he got an alert from his website saying that he was booked for a private event. Those were always a good time because people tended to loosen up when it was a room full of people they knew, not to mention that private parties paid very well. He opened the message and saw that it was a big to do in a penthouse uptown. He did a double take at the name on the reservation and sank down into the closest chair as he read, “Tony Stark?”

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't tag The Avengers or Tony Stark because I didn't want to ruin the surprise and it's only a small mention.
> 
> Yes, there will be an Avengers Larry-oke. No, it may not come next in the series. There are a LOT more characters to come up with songs for so I may throw another Umbrella Academy one in the middle because the Avengers one is becoming a beast!


End file.
